To Be a Girl...

Yes, dear readers there will be an update. Plus a maintenance, I can assure you that. I'll make sure to improve all the posts here, if I'm not so busy. I greatly apologize, not being able to write up to now. you'll be glad to know a lightning streak of events has happened during the last year. And I have much to tell, with additional words I'd like to share with you all. Don't you just feel special? XDD. Anyway, let's move on. But first, (yes, there's a but) a WARNING if you please.

WARNING: Upcoming Content might be... "too gross" or, "too ridiculous to handle" ...read at your own risk.

Since last post, I was a 14 year old teenage-girl (that apparently took home the title for last year's prom, Ms. Junior) who's been through ups and downs, like all other people. There's always a difference though.

One's life can never be the same. Although some other people might share the same experiences as you do, it makes it easier to understand one another. And, other experiences, are just some that can never be avoided.

Like for example, one day, you wake up but don't get up at once. Instead you wake up feeling funny, and then you realize you have a stomach ache. It stings a little but still tolerable. As you move to get up, you take off the warm blanket covering you. You gasp in surprise; you feel disbelief at first. Then, checking that you're in fact not hallucinating, you (of course) rub your eyes. The image won't disappear. You rub your eyes again... Nope, not disappearing. You run to the bathroom and have a closer look, and you find:


blood on your pajamas.


Okay... okay. Maybe not EVERYBODY can have this kind of experience, unless you're a girl. But, hey, these things can happen right? Oh, just agree with me~!

At 'ta, reader. Want a flashback? I thought so.

Gotta wait next time though.

Preview:
"WHAT THE FREAK WAS THAT!?" XDDD

Self-pity...Waiting...

Okay, so it was prom last night. Before, the dance, I had my make over, I felt so very excited, and very pretty. It lasted for a whole hour and it was honestly refreshing wearing make - up on. But then, when I was able to finally arrive in the building for the annual promenade, I was crest fallen when somebody implied that I was too simple and that my long gown wasn't exactly following the motiff, well, screw you, pig. She actually made me feel bad and I almost felt crying on my table. That night was supposed to be the best and memorable night of my life, but in the first order of events during the evening, I was utterly negative.

Not to mention the hurtful feeling I had when the guy I liked actually indirectly-dirctly rejected my feelings. This reminded me fo the guest speaker's words. "look unto the heart of the person you are dancing with. ", I actually thought everything was going to be all right... He asked me to dance, and I asked to dance with him, but, then I half-wished that I shouldn't have asked him, 'cause that was when he... ... Anyway, at least I got to tell him that I want things back to normal after dancing, and we kind of got to talk to each other, so most probably, we'd finally get back to being friends and I could finally move on.

Then, I saw the ladies around me, I felt that I'm not worth being around these such elegant and gentle females. I wished that I got to the bathroom and stay there until the night finally ended, but then Jennie (I love you, Jen) cheered me up, and got me back to my feet, told me words that I forgot, but knew that I needed to hear. And Patricia, for being there, hugging me in endless care and concern. And Denise and Justine, filling me with such wild yet possible dreams, and great hope.... I love them so much, and I treasure them so much. Thank you, guys.

Then there's King, my supposed 'main partner of the night' , thanks to him, I knew totally I wasn't alone, for he and I had a lot in common that night, we both started feeling really down that we felt like wanting to die, then he told me these words I shall NEVER forget...let me translate it. "when you're really feeling depressed and feel like all hope is gone, God knew what to do, he gave a very simple yet wonderful and beautiful miracle to make everything worthwhile..." King, thank you for twirling me when I told you to. Thanks for giving me a shot to be my partner when we were nominated to be Mr. and Ms. Junior last night at Prom.

Then there's Jexter, one of the most wonderful things that has happened to me that night. He was such a gentleman, a great listener, very charming, and just very sweet, and a good friend. He escorted me, and I actually felt pretty flattered when he offered his arm to accompany me and when he asked to dance with me (I got to dance with him, either twice or thrice, I think). I also felt really lucky while we were dancing (when I asked him to dance, not the other way around), he declined to exhange partners with a couple of our classmates dancing, though I accepted when his crush and another guy offered to exchange. Since I knew he liked her, I played cupid with JC so I ended up dancing with him the next second, fully knowing that Jexter deserved to dance with someone he liked to be memorable, besides, it's prom right? However, when I danced with him again, (THIS WAS WHEN I GOT TO DANCE WITH A FEW GUYS, ODDLY RETURNING ONCE AGAIN TO MY CHAIR, WATCHING ALL THE GLOQING FACES), he surprisingly apologized for a while ago, but I shook it off, telling him I didn't mind at all, then I asked him how did it go with his dance with the girl he liked, and he seemed not wanting t talk about her. I asked him if he indeed liked the girl, but he denied... hmmm... great lie Jexter. But then he told me to sing a song we were dancing to for him, I complied, having fun myself. He asked me for the title, and I answered with the title and the singer(TRYING TO GET THE FEELING AGAIN BY CHRISTIAN BAUTISTA), he nodded with the same serious and tad mysterious expression, though I kind of liked it.
Then I got to dance with the young voldemort, telling him (I was hesitant) that we were dancing to one of my favorite songs... "Stolen by Dashboard Confessional", and voldemort, being a known gentleman, tried singing the words with me, then we seperated.....
Jexter returned for me once again, my favorite song was already halfway through, then he suddenly asked me who I wanted to actually dance with from the third year, the year I belong to... I answered him, and he still held that serious expression with a bit of surprise. By the end of the night... ... he was one of the two guys I kissed on the cheek. He was the first guy who gave me a decent turn to dance.

Melben, thank you too. You were one of the guys, along with Jexter, I kissed on the cheek, just because... thanks for the dance... I appreciated it. It was one of the most memorable dances I've had in my whole entire life.

So.... you wanna know what is the miracle? I won something the whole night, something I didn't think possible except dear Ate Justine, (love yah ate) I won a postion, I was Ms. Junior. What a night it turned out to be... I was half amused but totally surprised... pictures you ask? You might want to be patient...
LOL.
p.s. THE FOOD WAS GREAT<>

Passers-by

okay... so today is my prom... I'm about to eat, and then take a shower. (rolls eyes) For the first time, a whole situation I'm supposed to get nervous or excited... I'm not. Isn't that just weird? Plus Brad had some damn scissors and cut up the cover of my poaoperback book... I HATE BRAD! HE PRACTICALLY SLASHED MY HARRY POTTER BOOK! DAMN HIM! ...for now.

Anyway, right, prom. I'm going to bring lip gloss, perfume, powder, money and a brush... not to forget my PWT's cd, EVERY SECOND COUNTS -deluxe edition (smiles). Oh yeah, and my invitation. (glances bemusedly) Yeah, the dare, blah blah, I guess I could care less about that. If he doesn't ask first, guess I'll have to ask... Psh, as if that'll happen. Too cowardly for that. (winces) so, I'll be posting pictures soon... of me. in the prom. in my gown, in make-up. Big deal? nah.

Oh yeah, they're going to be serving roast beef... I wonder if mashed potatoes and gravy's going to be there? WEll, one thing's for sure, I'm looking REALLY FORWARD TO THE FOOD. Just great, I'm hungry. Plus, I hope I'll go to the coffee shop right after prom, on midnight to two. Plus, I'd like to dance with ms. junior (winks at pats) and my ever good friend jennie (winks). Damn, I'm hungry.

Oh yeah, news flash, these days, me and Voldemort-- the younger one, have been bumping into each other lately, though I try not to acknowledge that, but since I have no pride left, I'll let it go. Seriously, I will, don't worry. It is aprroximately 11:50 AM. I'll take a bath at 12 pm.
Okay, gotta go, I'm really hungry.

I promise to upload some pics... I promise.

P.S. did I mention that I just love Go Fish and Uno cards? (winks at El Segundo and El Desperado)

I have 3 minutes...

Well, it started exactly last Sci-tech week when word broke out about who my crush is. Plus, 'the guy I like" knows about it. I hate vj, honestly. Plus someone who told marshmallow. Damn.



And then fast forward, missing on the parts of excruciating teases from marsh and my best buds, then finally stopping here. Where everything was awkward between me and the guy. I really tried hard not to glance at his way,'cause he might think otherwise, which would be such a pain. But I really can't deny when we would meet eyes, which is really weird, 'cause I never felt him glancing at my way. But, anyway, he likes another girl from our batch. which brings me once again to say how much I am annoyed/slightly hating marsh. Stupid exams!

And now, because of the whole section's desperate need of passing his subject, I had to actually claim the spot of being in the whole trade. Does that mean I actually like my section?Hm... quite particular.



Thanks to Jennie, who was officially my spokeswoman the whole entire damned day, I was actually being altruistic; I was going to risk to be dying of shame for my grades. The whole class better be in my funeral!



All right the dare is to dance with my 'supposed crush' at the prom for one whole song. 3 minutes, maximum, and in return, marsh would hold back his red pen of evil failures.



It sounds really bad, honestly. I really didn't want him to get involved, I just know in my gut that feelings are going to get hurt... I don't know if any of his feelings would get hurt either.

But... right now... I'm just thinking of his mother. His mother is going to be there for heaven's sake! I feel like breaking down. And marsh even said it was the best offer he had ever gotten, I swear he just loves to torture me!



Oh, yeah, did I say that my spokeswoman asked him for me if I could dance with him and he actually agreed to it? How confusing is that? Believe me, it is.



I'm also worrying about something else. I have three minutes, 3 damn minutes to dance with him, it wsounds too long to comporehend. What am I going to say? Should I rehearse?

First things first:



"Oi, sorrysorrysorry! Kung gusto mo, mag-back out ka na lang. Nahihiya ako tuloy eh... andito yung mommy/daddy mo."

and if he says yes...

"Sure ka? Okay lang sa'yo?"

and if he nods or says a yes.

"thank you!... Kasi si SS..."

then... I don't know if he'd hold my hand or offer an arm... but when we get to the dance floor...

I'll be as silent as a mouse... and curse marsh as if my life dependson it... or maybe I'm just exaggerating... what do yu think?